i want to sit on a kitchen counter in my underwear at 3 am with you and talk about the universe
It’s a metaphor, see: you hold a pen with your homework in front of you, but you don’t do it, you don’t give it the power to do its killing
one time, i was sitting in my cost accounting class on a rainy Friday afternoon, thinking about how wow this was the wrong pair of underwear to wear with these shorts i wonder if i’ll have time to go home and change between class while also looking out the window because there was a pair of squirrels looking like they were about to get their freak on and i was sincerely interested in how that’d play out, i was pullin’ for the girl, WHEN ALL OF THE SUDDEN, we hear roaring winds, like it’s not hurricane season, but that tree looks like it’s about to get blown the fuck over sort of winds, so everyone ran to the window, which is actually really rude to the teacher and sort of annoying to me because they were all crowding around me now and i have a big personal bubble when it comes to crowds, but lo and behold!!! there was james!! on a helicopter!! hanging down from a rope attached to it, swinging in the breeze, looking like a fuckin’ hero, sweaty and shiny and really reallllly pale, which at first was like oooeeghhh….that’s not how it’s supposed to be…but i quickly shook off that thought and focused on WOW! A HELICOPTER! A MAN! SHIRTLESS!! GOSH! and then i heard him call my name out and i was like omg what the heck i’m in class this is soooo embarrassing couldnt you have just texted me like i see your phone on your hip and everything..but luckily no one in class knows my name because i like to sit alone in the corner playing sudoku before the professor walks in and starts lecturing, so i just quickly and quietly backwards walked out of class, unnoticed, like usual, sigh, to go out and meet him, well actually i sort of just hid behind a tree and waved him over, dragging him out of the spotlight he so loves because it was giving me anxiety and took him into Denny’s where he confessed his motives over carmel frappes, even though we ordered mocha, and was like omg ryann i luuuuuuv ur booty i neeeeeed you to be my power couple queen pls be mine and, and after conducting a thorough interview, judgments based on how quickly he ate his Grandslam, what kind of eggs he ordered, sausage patties or links, and if he got homefries or hashbrowns, i regreted to inform him that, no, i cannot b urs, bc i don’t think you can handle the booty. i mean, he could handle it, but he couldn’t handle it, you know what i mean?? like sure, he’s got really nice and big hands, and the reach from his shoulders to my ass is on point, and his ears were oddly attractive, but none of that mattered. i could not agree to dating him. i refuse to be power couple with someone who doesn’t finish their entire plate of breakfast food. too weak. can’t finish your plate, can’t handle my booty.
why are western feminists so concerned with being able to expose themselves without anyone batting an eye over all other priorities that they should have as feminists. like as long as you can walk around shirtless the wage gap and porn industry is all gucci right
captionless selfies???? who the fck do u think you are mona lisa
Other compliments that do NOT focus on appearance:
It’s so nice to hear your laugh.
It’s good to see you.
I’m glad you’re here.
That was clever.
You’re so thoughtful.
You make me laugh.
I enjoy your company.
It’d be nice to receive compliments like this once in a while rather than throwing them out and getting nothing for it.
you’re so cute I just wanna hug you and kiss you and cuddle with you and also fuck you but hey man it’s whatever